In good spirits (yes, still! ♥)

After a really good overnight shift, I spent most of the early morning setting up stuff to support my blog, gaming, and looking into my NowTV trial, then spent the actual day sleeping (which isn't what I normally would do because I'd feel it's a waste of a day off) and the evening and night just chilling with the Boy, leveling our new WoW characters (my dwarven warlock and his Kul Tiran druid) while making really horrible jokes on Discord. I'm actually quite proud of one of mine even though it made him just clear his throat but otherwise remain silent.

Q: What do you call a fat chicken?
A: A thiccen. :3

...it's funny, okay? At the very least it made a guild mate chuckle and that's good enough for me! All y'all others just have inferior senses of humour, I swear to gods old and new! >:(

From 4-5AM I was starting to feel a bit sluggish and Boy and I were having a yawn-off but once he'd shuffled off to bed at 6ish, I sort-of caught second wind and I'm still riding it now at 7:29... although I'm not sure if I'm meant to call it a "second wind" when I literally had a caffeine pill with a cup of strong coffee right before Boy went to bed. :P But... second wind or caffeine high, I don't care... it's working. My mood is high and I'm having a good time. ♥

And I'm not feeling my typical guilt over doing sweet eff all. None. I'm very much so enjoying myself although all I've been doing for the past forty-five minutes is work on my Loremaster achievement & pet battle (and screenshot all the pretty!) in a zone I typically hate - Azsuna. I'm actually legit loving every second. I don't know how to deal with it!

It really goes to show how sneakily being miserable becomes the norm and how much fighting any sort of an illness (but especially one that affects the mind) can change a person for the worse and make life feel so not worth it at times. What it also proves is that the wrong approach or the wrong treatment to an issue can so, so dangerously subtly make such a negative impact while making it appear as if it's working.

Now I'm no doctor and I won't claim to know 1/10000 of what medical professionals know about hormonal problems and mood disorders, but I do know that my regime isn't working and hasn't been working for a good while but I haven't really been registering that until these past couple of months of constant panic attacks, recurrent weepiness, daily anxiety, aches and pains all over... I haven't been fine at all but my mind's been tricking me into thinking this was all normal and I'd just have to get used to it. To give up the fight and just drudge on.

But the way I'm feeling right now, I have no intention of giving up. If this state of being is achievable on a regular basis, if I am somehow capable of existing like a normal, young-ish woman, I will absolutely keep fighting to get the answers and the treatment I need to make this a goddamn thing.

✠

Meanwhile, across town... I tweaked the layout a bit to be less of a "what happens if I click here" and more "here's everything I have to offer, enjoy". While the dropdown menus felt like a cute solution in theory, they weren't exactly, you know.. practical. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do and how. I want galleries, I think? But if I go with galleries, the how and the where becomes something I'll have to consider. I want this, I want that, but I also want things to stay relatively simple and I don't know... maybe in this state of mind at this hour (8:19 as I write this) after staying up for umpteen plus hours, decision-making isn't going to be my forte. :D

I do know that I want somewhere to shove my gametography (in layman's terms: my gaming screenshots) because what's the point in having a Print Screen -happy finger if I'm never going to share the pictures? I don't want to shove them in peoples' faces in photo dump posts but I want them to be readily available for people who do want to see them so I don't know... but I'll figure something out! I just want to shape Dyspurria to more like me. An actual proper representation.

Working on it. Bear with me!

Now, if you'll excuse me... there's a naga jabbing a spear into my poor rogue's back so it's best I go solve the situation before I die an embarrassing death in the hands of a creature ten levels lower than me. Toodles~! ♥